A week later......

Here it is, December 9 already. Time is either crawling or flying - I am still not sure. There are so many things I am not sure of right now. What does one do when you are diagnosed with lung cancer at age 47? It doesn't make any sense.
I'll back track a week to update everyone. Russ and I flew to Indiana as he had two interviews there. It was in many ways a difficult weekend. Physically it was a struggle - my legs are not cooperating and I also have an infection in my left arm from where the IV was put in for my petscan. This is also very painful. So basically I have one appendage that is working well. But on Saturday my siblings and dad drove down from Michigan and I was able to spend time with them. What a blessing that was for all of us. It seriously made the trip worthwhile despite how difficult it was.
We got back late Monday night and yesterday we met with my oncologist. We did not receive the news we were hoping for. (like "your cancer has miraculously disappeared!!!" or "it isn't near as advanced as we thought") Sadly we were told the cancer is quite advanced. The one good piece of news is that it has not spread to my brain. On Thursday I will be starting chemo. The chemo will take about four hours to be administered and will only be once every three weeks. I guess one good piece of news is the doctor said this particular chemo doesn't have a lot of side effects. I haven't asked about losing hair yet. But frankly, losing my hair seems like the least of my worries.
The nurse asked us if we wanted to see the treatment room. Russ and I answered together "No". The reason is because we both saw it as we were walking into the doctor's office and it was so depressing. Everyone in there is old - I mean really old. It isn't a spot for me. But Thursday, I will have my chair and the plan is to start killing cancer cells.
So how are we doing? Honestly, right now, not very well. We are just so sad. Sad for our children, sad for each other, sad for our parents, siblings and friends. I am physically feeling so wounded - I need the doctor to figure out what is going on with my legs. This problem is making it almost impossible to do anything at a time when I desperately want to do things. What do women do this time of year? Shop, decorate, bake, plan for the holidays - nothing has happened and it is just breaking my heart.
Please, please, please continue to pray for healing. Pray for strength for us emotionally, strength for me physically. Hang onto hope for us, ask that we feel God's presence in our lives and that He will give us a miracle.